retribution

dis might the end for us.... but seriously im fall into him... i try so hard to forget an accept him as a fren like b4... but itz too hard for me to talk to him, i hav no guts to contact him.... i party, drink, n hang out alot wif my frenz juz donwanna stay at home n recall back those memories....

i know itz sound kinda stupid to ask for reason to leave.... so i didnt ask any...

everything happen too fast? itz a joke... since we know each other quite some time.... i hope dis nv happen at all... itz like im digging a hole for myself since the day we r together...

i thought we kinda mature in the relationship.... i guess im wrong... i dont even know watz he's thinking... could it b retribution on me??!?!?! if yes... tatz too cruel for me... watz the meaning of those sweet sms n call?? it doesnt mean anything to him?? god!!! im going crazy!!!

2010....

itz 2010... birthday around the corner... another year....

new year start so miserably... regrettable trip... a trip tat i was so looking forward, a time to show some care.... but end up back to kl wif fucked up feel... lolz... im always fucked up...

maybe im too dumb or too stupid... u're too smart....

i tot being dumb n keep silence can feel more happy and avoid conflict... but i think im wrong...

stil remember that u told me u gonna gel ur hair nicely to visit my family... lolz.... u were explaining n being a 'human gps' all da way to ur house... im really enjoy listen to u, it was fun n happy...

conclusion for last week: im stupid.....